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Disregard of my right to privacy…and my time…by my so-called friends

I’ve been fighting a battle with people I know, some who would feel slighted if I did not consider them friends – for the past 7 years.

This is what it is about:

  1. I inform all who know me not to send my email (or other contact details) out to ‘third parties’ without my express consent.
  2. Don’t make a human error which is irreversible with this!
  3. Invariably they respond something like, “Goes without saying, I would never do a thing like that!” – in a tone of disapproval at my apparent lack of trust in them.
  4. Then invariably they do send out my contact details – especially my email address – to third parties without my consent. They do this by idiotically:
    1. lumping my email address with several others in the ‘To’ or ‘CC’ fields of emails – a sure way to distribute my email address to umpteen people who do not know me.
    2. Clicking the FWD (forward) button on emails forwarded to others, and leaving my email address exposed, like it’s everybody’s business (and it ain’t)!
    3. submitting my email address to websites to send me links or messages – like how much intelligence does it take to realise that that is in fact giving my email address to a ‘third party’ without my consent.
  5. And then they go something like, “Sorry, I eh very good with IT and computers.” – as if to say that is a great explanation

But is this phenomenon about a lack of intelligence or is it more about a lack of memory or consideration for me? I have to wonder. No – many of them put it down to, “I thought it was okay….” or “Sorry I made a mistake.” – as if to say all human mistakes are excusable.

The following conversation occurred recently between me and another – small print is commentary or my thoughts at the time.

Me: Please do not submit my email address to any websites as it appeared with that [named] website.

[This had happened and I happened to be in ‘chat’ with the person. I’m being very clear in what I’m saying.]

Other: ok, why not?

[Bloody hell, do I really have to spend time explaining that I have right to privacy and confidentiality of my contact details and I expect my ‘friends’ to honour all that? Like – no! I don’t have the time. My bloody time is concentrated and I decide how I want to spend it, like now. And the reason I’m writing all this is because I’m fascinated by the stupidity of the most ‘civilised’ species on earth – or so they like to think of themselves. So I give the short answer below.]

Me: No questions….just don’t

Other: what? So how else can I send articles?

[Oh golly gee! I’m supposed to explain it. Like I don’t want frigging articles from anywhere where my email address has to be submitted – and oh, you’re meant to send copy and paste and send it in an email to me. Bollocks.]

Me: How’d you like if I send your private telephone numbers to some website…it’s the same thing. Look, I don’t like my contact email going to other sites and that’s that.

[Like do I have time in a chatroom to go into this? No. Just do as I say, for God’s sakes]

Other: ok, well as you wish. But you should keep several e-mail accounts then if you’re worried about privacy.

[Oh right – so I’m supposed to do as you say in order to receive crap and waste my time. No – ‘why don’t you spend your time respecting my privacy’ – I’m thinking. Sorry, I don’t see why I should spend my time checking email addresses for junk. Respect for my privacy is my so-called friends’ business too. Why should I compensate for such a lack of consideration? I shouldn’t.]

Other: Oh well, I think I’m gonna take in the news. There is a live feed of the summit on.

[Well, if I sense some displeasure there then I’m paranoid. Eh?]

Me: No. I decide how many email accounts I want to check. I have a right to privacy.

[In other words I shall not be compensating for your lack of attention and respect for my privacy]

Okay – so you might be thinking that I’m going on too much about this. Read on, then.

I go back to 02:35AM 17th August 2008.

I heard my cell phone ringing. I struggled to answer it. It is dark. I’d been jolted out of my deep slumber. I was clueless at the time to what time it was. I answered the phone:

Other: “Aye, how yuh going”.

Me: “Ah sleepin”

Other: “Oh gord…ah sorry.. ah only see yuh online so ah press dee button….ah eh watch dee time…sorry ah gorn”.

[I’ve got Skype and it’s on my cellphone – so I appear online all the time. It doesn’t do the auto ‘away’ feature like in the usual PC version.]

Me: “Alright”

I get back to sleep in a few minutes, luckily. But in those few minutes – I’m thinking “Yet another blasted Trinidadian…demonstrating the same mindlessness typical of its people“. No I wasn’t particularly angry whilst thinking that – more in a state of…well it’s a difficult one to find words for…I guess a mixture of expectation, confusion, disappointment, puzzlement, disgust for the human condition.

Actually the caller was the same person in the conversation at the start of this blog, and the person is used to changes of time zones and international travel. So one could expect that if making a call to anyone in another country that the time zone is checked. The time zone is actually displayed after my screenname on Skype.

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