Yet more tips on being popular

by Captain Walker

Categories: Humanities

[Disclaimer: none of these tips are guaranteed to work. No liability is accepted for damage or loss arising from use of these tips.]

After my first round of tips on being popular – How to be popular – Twenty core  tips – some further tips came to mind as I reflected some more. Here they are:

  1. Don’t appear to be too ‘bright’ (i.e.intelligent). Intelligence is the light that shines through people’s psychological clothes and gives a fairly telling silhouette of the true nature of people. It’s frightening to most people. So if you happen to know factually that you have some special ability to see into people, keep that very quiet. Appear to be rather dim.
  2. Spend money on, or buy things for, people. The best way to be popular is to spend, spend and spend. People are truly suckers for this – though they will pretend convincingly so, that ‘it’s the thought that matters’. Know that people are quite materialistic in nature. Come on – don’t confessed lottery jackpot winners acquire friends rather quickly?
  3. Remember that hypocrisy is the thing that unknowingly to most people, rules their lives. If you can, just be that lovable hypocrite to people, they will love you back.
  4. Say ‘sorry’ even when you haven’t factually caused offence or suffering. It’s part of the ‘hypocrisy games’. So if your friend’s toes were stepped on by another person, you say, ‘I’m so sorry this has happened to you’. This is part of simulating empathy – and people are suckers for it. It’s become so common to ‘feel sorry’ that you must fall in line and say sorry, else you risk being marginalised.
  5. Never push people to greater heights unless you’re already in a legitimate position of dominance e.g. if you’re their boss in a hierarchy of employment of some kind. People in general require to maintain their personal status quo and that which surrounds them. Any sense of change causes people anxiety and you risk being seen as the source of it. Don’t be fooled by motivational bullshit that people spout – as if to say they’re highly motivated for change. The ‘legitimate position of dominance’ gives licence to ‘push’ – but people who have true equality of position with another do not like being pushed anywhere or in any manner.
  6. Compliment and flatter people. If you’re caught flattering, just say you were trying to compliment and inspire. This makes you appear honest and you’re likely to be forgiven.
  7. If you discover people telling lies or making misrepresentations, don’t let them know that you have caught on.
  8. Engage in small talk e.g. if someone says they don’t understand, you jump in an try to explain – alternatively just talk about the weather, children, dogs, cats, cars, food etc. All these are culturally accepted things to talk about. If you deviate from the culture of the herd, you’re looking for trouble; not popularity.
  9. Share some of what appears to be personal aspects of yourself with others, especially complete strangers. This makes you appear to be an open book.
  10. Simulate honesty. People won’t know if you’re really being honest.The appearance of ‘honesty’ is sufficient for fools. Well, eventually they may come to know the truth – but it’ll be too late for them.