When people feel they are smart (i.e. clever).
On the Rock, crawlers there might say, “He t’ink he smart!”. In England they might say, “He’s trying to be clever.” Basically this is about people creating a perception that is not matching up with something. It could range from twisting the truth to telling pure lies.
I’m not going to go into detailed examples but this is a kind of ‘mind game’. I’ll broadly outline how I’ve experienced it.
- Person A enquires about X, of Person B (with various circumstances outlined). Or you challenged another person on their position.
- Person A is given responses by B that lack depth, are inconsistent, using vague words and sentences lacking structure and usually containing non-sequiturs.
- What A is told just doesn’t match the foundation of the circumstances, known to expert knowledge, or known to a wide range of persons.
- There are wide deviations and convoluted stories given, so as to deviate from the original issue in question.
- There may be associated responses that bear no real connection to the original questions.
- The above interlaced with justificatory bullshit by B.
All the above leads A to think, ‘What a loadah bollocks!’ But A being polite thinks, ‘What’s the point? It’s better to let him/her fool himself into thinking that s/he can fool others..No need as yet to damage relationships by further questions that will cause upset.’
B might well think or console him/herself that s/he’s done his/her best to explain the situation, so if A isn’t satisfied, “Tough.” S/he may also think that s/he has escaped because s/he has avoided further lines of questioning or direct exposure of the truth. After all, the truth of the matter was never fleshed out and it would be wrong for A to leave with a truth that was not exposed – and it would be wrong of A to come to a firm conclusion.
People hold themselves in a certain degree of self-esteem and false self-esteem at the same time. How do I know?
- They say that they like change – they don’t!
- They say that they like ‘the truth’ no matter how painful – it’s one of the biggest lies. They also avoid people who are brutally honest.
- They then say that they like honesty – but actions speak louder than words – when they avoid those who are actually honest.
- People say that they are ‘realists’ – in reality they are mostly fantasists.
The most telling of people who are ‘fake’, is how their actions contradict their words. But think about it, even if the truth wasn’t exposed, it’s still the case that it was not arrived at due to the gapping inconsistencies and waffling. Individuals who are fake think that ‘everybody’ will believe their bull!
As examples (not a full list) from the past, I’m of course thinking back to two so-called friends who I sacked several years ago. One was a childhood friend and batchmate who I maintained contact with up to 1990 (some 30 years). This chap contacted me out of the blue by email and Skype (finding me by internet searches), and attempted to resolve some questions on his mind from 25 years previously. They were rather childish issues that would have mattered if we were still ‘kids’. I thought this was rather strange, and wondered what this was all about. Then the answer came weeks later. He died suddenly (I was told by another colleague by email – so no I was not speaking to the ‘dead’]. I later found out on the grapevine that he was suffering with a chronic autoimmune illness, which he had not informed me about. [He wouldn’t because when we were around 24, I told him his life expectancy would be seriously shortened by his choice of lifestyle.] Just keep calm – you don’t need to be a bledy ‘psychalagist’ to work out that he knew his time was about ‘up’ and he wanted to sort out nagging issues from the past, before he went.
The other was a respected colleague/friend who I sacked around 2003 (after 13 years) – and who I discovered by pure chance (in 2012) had died in the previous year. Sorrow? To think or ask is to ‘not know me’. And still remain calm: this is not about me ‘hardening my heart’ or holding grudges – at all!! When I wipe the slate – and I do not do that easily – it is truly wiped; no grudges, no malice, ‘no nothing’ – they simply become ‘Joe Blogs’ who I don’t know i.e. they join the class of persons that ‘I don’t know’, by their own actions.
So what does this all mean? It means that many of my so-called friends or work colleagues (or those who have been kicked out of such classification), ‘think they’re smart’. They actually expose more of their own stupidity. Eventually they get to a point, at varying speeds, until they become ex-friends or ex-colleagues. As I often say, I don’t give people both ends of the rope, I give them ‘four ends of the rope’ i.e. I will give them more chances than they deserve to ‘hang themselves’.
[Now kindly refrain from ‘psychoanalysing’ me about my ‘repressed anger’ and ‘narcissistic rage’. Just look in the mirror. ]