Email woes again!

by Captain Walker

Categories: CW

I’ve been receiving unsolicited promotional emails again. I mean I tick the relevant box when I deal with companies – checking carefully that by doing so I do not opt in for such emails. But it’s clear to me now that they take no notice. They insist on sending me their junk.

Yes – I can put filters on these things, but why do I have to take that effort? I should not need to do this.  Two days ago one company insisted I hit some unsubscribe link.  I told them I’d be doing no such thing, and to get me off their list – instantly else there would be trouble. They obliged.

Today more of the same from another company. So this is the text of my email to them.

======================

These are clear instructions that are not negotiable or subject to any conditions that predate this email. From here on I sever any contractual agreement to receive your emails or that from any other entity.

Please carry out instructions below:

  1. Do not send promotional email to my email address.
  2. Do not ask questions.
  3. Do not tell me to click an unsubscribe link.
  4. Do not inform me of anything or any disadvantages.
  5. Do not apologise.
  6. Do not argue with me or cause me distress.
  7. Do not interpret my state of mind.
  8. Just do as I say – now.

For the avoidance of doubt, my email address was not supplied on condition that I would have to hit an unsubscribe button. Find the means to remove me and do as I request.

NOW READ 1 TO 7 ABOVE AND DO NOT SEND ME ANOTHER EMAIL TO CONFIRM YOUR ACTIONS.

I really don’t think I could be clearer.

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