Another knock on the door

by Captain Walker

Categories: Humanities, Psychology & Philosophy

Well no, they did not come to arrest me. So like again, there is another knock on the door yesterday. I peep out without opening my outer door, to see who’s there.

Two females [This does not mean I’m sexist! They actually appeared to be females, and it is not my business to go do DNA testing on people who are outside my front door to find out if they’re female or not]. Both clutching some sort of leaflet that I could not read. They could see me and I could see them – and they can hear me when I ask ‘What is it?‘. They respond to the sound of my voice by looking up and other non-verbal responses. One of them is fumbling with a handbag. Do I have time for this? I do not! Some fool is gonna say “What is it?” is rude – I just know it. Well hang on, if you’re standing there and saying bledy nothing – not introducing yourself – I’m entitled to ask anything I want. It’s my house – and you’re standing on my property.

The seconds seem like an eternity. So I repeat myself twice again. No response. One is looking at me and the other is trying to get something out of a bag, which then appears to be more leaflets. Right – so I’ve had it. I go, “I do not have time to waste. State the nature of your business, else I’m gone.” What? Is that impolite? Get real! What’s impolite is standing there wasting my time – by saying nothing and looking like you’re from some other planet. Like no – they were not from my planet! Zogites do not behave like them.

I think I have an idea (theory) what it is. Perhaps – emphasis on ‘perhaps‘ – they expected that because the two of them are females, that I’d be more forthcoming and open the outer door to go, “Hiya.. Yuh a’right (as they often say in this part of the world)..how are you this morning? May I help?” They’re not to know (obviously) who they’re dealing with – and that I don’t give a monkeys!

Finally  – two more seconds, I close the inner door. Did I slam the door? No – I did not!

Oops!! Trouble.

Stupid: Are you saying that people should not knock on your door?

CW: No. I said no such thing and if I wanted to be ‘saying’ such a thing, I’d say it. What the devil is it with you and this ‘are you saying’ stuff?

Stupid: Well I’m just saying that maybe you don’t want people to knock on your door.

CW: And I’m saying that you can say what you want – as can I – but there nothing in what I said that could lead you to ask your question.

Stupid: Okay. So maybe it was the way you appeared. Maybe you looked angry or dismissive or something.

CW: And maybe the sun would rise in the West tomorrow morning, or maybe I was standing on my head at the time, or maybe they were stunned that I was speaking proper English and they expected Gujarati. Maybe they were ill or disabled in some way – and unable to speak.  Maybe anything.

Stupid: You don’t have to be like that!

CW: I do. What you’re doing is what ‘everybody’ does – trying to create a reason that has something to do with me, that might explain or excuse the stupid behaviour of the two people.

Stupid: But people are not always aware of how they come across.

CW: And people do not always use their intelligence either. Your word ‘always’ is designed to create the case for a single exception. What people don’t always do is a matter for people. I am me and I’m quite aware of the manner I present to others. Did I say that I was perfect? I did not! You’re focusing on some possibility about my manner, for an explanation of how they reacted when I opened my door. I note that you’re not occupied with the way the two females came across.

Stupid: Yes – you’re right. I was focusing on some possible aspect of your presentation as an explanation for their strange lack of response.

CW: [Collapsed on the floor in utter disbelief that Stupid could actually admit that. Then took 10 mins to recover – no paramedics called.]

Oh dear – after my recovery from the above, I say: I don’t care who the hell ‘you’ are, if you cold-call by knocking on my door or call me on the phone, introduce yourself and state your business – else take a flying leap.

That’s it! Yes – the end of this post.


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