Controlling your world
Did I say ‘controlling the world?’ I did NOT! I said ‘your world’. What does ‘your world’ mean? I mean the probabilities of events that are happening now and preparing for probabilities of events likely to happen in the future. Some fool needs an example. It’s this simple: if you don’t top up your electric or pay your bills on time, you could find yourself without electricity. Or if you don’t fill your car’s tank before it goes empty, you’ll be brought to a halt.
[This post is not applicable to persons affected by disabilities arising from genuine mental or physical disorders.]
As I’m on a roll with the bio-psychosocial model I’m going to think about ‘your world’ by which I mean my world. I don’t know who the devil might be reading this. Most people I link these posts to never read more than a few lines. So I don’t really give a monkeys what’s happening in ‘your’ world. This is not a counselling session – FFS!
If you thought – or had an expectation that I’d be unpacking each item on the mind-map – you’re in the wrong place!
The mind-map is clearly, for the Eng-uh-lish especially – an invitation to go, “I’m so bad at discipline” or “I’m rubbish at diet and exercise.” In Eng-uh-land, natives of this country take pride and joy in declaring their personal incompetence. They think that by ‘holding their hands up’ and admitting their incompetence, that they’re better off. They really don’t know how stupid they appear – to me at least.
In declaring their incompetence, they actually do nothing about it. How? They’re not in control and they have an acceptance of ‘things’, events and other people controlling their world. I know this when they say things like “I have to.….(whatever)”. Rarely do people ‘have to’ because of a genuine sense of duty driven from within. Instead they are blown willy-nilly by seemingly random events and impositions arising from domains of the social and psychological.
I said ‘seemingly’ – because that is what it appears to them to be i.e. random events.
But note that at the outset I referred to ‘probabilities’. Somebody wants an example for sure. Well, if one hangs with dysfunctional confused people (DCP) – expect to have your energy sapped and your time wasted. DCPs usually attract other DCPs and other activities that lead to stress and time-wasting. It’s then a vicious circle which appears to be composed of random events. It’s not that people of basic intelligence cannot see this – it’s that they become tangled in a web and then are unable to take control.
For myself – which is not advice for anyone – escape is a sound mechanism. How? I avoid DCPs or giving time to them. Hence I may have degrees of friendships but no friends. This means that I don’t ‘have to’ go to X, Y, or Z event – and return going “What a waste of time.. I should have…. (blah blah)”. So, as I write this I estimate that I’m about 95% in control of ‘my world’. I can think, plan, feel, occupy myself with things productive, eat something healthy, not ‘have to’ make conversation or put on a face. I’m at peace with myself. This is eudaimonia – which is beyond happiness.
Failure to manage probabilities leads to stress and bother in other areas of life. How many times I’ve heard “Me phone broke..I accidentally dropped it” or “Me computer was hacked” or “My finances are rubbish, I’m broke – I don’t know how to budget.“? Loads of times. These sort of peripheral folk get a terse response from me, “You’re to blame! Bugger off!” You see, they want sympathy – though they won’t admit it. I should be saying, “To be fair phones fall out of peoples hands all the time. It’s just one of those things. It’s fine.. you’ll be fine.” That’s what they expect. For me, if you buy a phone and do not get the correct level of protections for it hitting the ground, ‘you’re to blame’. End of!
I’m not here to teach people how to control their world. So that’s it. What? The end of this post (or so I thought).
Stupid: Hang on a sec! You can’t just end there. You insulted most people, pointed out their incompetence and then you’re running off. That’s not fair!
CW: How did you get out again? I pointed out what a lot of people are like as a matter of fact. That’s not an insult. If people feel insulted it’s because they cannot and will not face the reality of their own functioning.
Stupid: But you’re saying that people should avoid friendships.
CW: I did NOT!
Stupid: YOU DID!
CW: Watch it. You could be back in the box faster than the blink of my eye.
Stupid: You said to avoid people.
CW: I specifically said dysfunctional confused people. I did not say ‘everybody’.
Stupid: So people should not be friends with DCPs?
CW: I don’t make choices for ‘people’. They can do as they please – and suffer the consequences; just don’t come and tell me about their crap.
Stupid: That’s so unsupportive.
CW: Correct! I’m not here to allow my time to be wasted. I will distance myself from people who drain on my focus and energies. I don’t ‘have to’ support everybody and their ‘dog’ – or do as they wish.
Stupid: Why? How?
CW: Because nothing compels me to. I decide what I do with my time, who I spend it with etc.
Stupid: But you waste time with me!
CW: Hmmm.. you’re right there to some extent. But then again your stupidity is useful in helping me to think deeper about stupid people.
Stupid: Why would you do that?
CW: To better be able to spot them and avoid them.
Stupid: Makes sense.
CW: Wut! I’m shocked. You really got that?
CW: Okay.. thanks for interrupting.. kindly return to your box now.
Stupid: Ok. Bye.