Why is reality a hard place?
Reality is a topic I’ve visited before on this blog. However, having searched the site I find that I have not explored ‘why reality is a hard place’. A few days ago I explored the blur between fantasy and reality. In that post I explained how I saw reality. So, I won’t go over that. I use ideas from that post, to explore the harshness of reality in relation to fantasy.
I’m not here to crush people’s fantasies. I’m only showing how the gap between fantasy and reality can impact. I have no problem with people generating fantasies for entertainment or recreational purposes. I’m talking about the fantasies that follow people for long periods of time.
Fantasy is great. People can create whatever ideas they want in the privacy of their heads. There is no law that could restrict what people want to conceive or believe in their own minds. The government for example has no way of getting access to your thoughts or fantasy life, unless you make them known to others. Immediately that will draw out some idiots and psychotics who wanna argue about ‘various rays’ the government will use to read your thoughts. It’s a never ending ridiculous debate because those who assert this sort of thing are burdened to prove, and they cannot provide hard evidence – only circumstantial and opinion evidence. I’ll leave that off entirely.
Fantasy leads people to fool themselves. You could believe you’re doing so well at whatever, in the face of much hard evidence to the contrary. Hope, eternal optimism, desire, greed or social influences can lead the mind astray rather easily. So, the believer in a fantasy then doesn’t realise they’re in a fantasy. What they believe is a soothing ‘fact’ for them – which is often times reinforced by well-wishing social influencers. One only need take a short trip on the likes of Facebook or Instagram, and you’ll see loads of comments such as ‘You’re loveleee‘ or ‘Oh soooo pretty‘ under some of the most objectively obese or otherwise hideous people. And those ‘wonderful’ comments would then receive loads of ‘thumbs ups’. Or if you ever looked at auditions for ‘X Factor’, you have to wonder about those rejected, like “How the devil did they come to think they had a chance?” – as you stick your fingers in your ears, shaking your head from side to side. If you need proof by way of torture, go here.
Reality of course, bites. For X Factor rejects, they sometimes break down in tears or some of them become angry or argumentative. They so want to believe that the judges are wrong – and that they have talent. It’s pretty much the same in other aspects of life – like work. Some people think they’re good at their jobs – but they ain’t. Some people like to think that they’re reaching their goals – but they ain’t. Well okay, they’re still getting there after 5, 10, or 15 years or whatever. Fantasy – repeated to the self has a powerful sort of hypnotic effect. If you convinced yourself you could fly (unassisted by any device) and jumped off a high cliff – it doesn’t mean you will fly. It’s more likely – I dare say – that you’ll suffer a painful and fatal ‘bump’. That’s how hard reality can be.
I don’t mean to say that ‘everybody’ will meet with pain by holding on to a comfortable fantasy. A prolonged fantasy – comforting as it may be – can lead to underachievement without the immediacy of pain.When one faces reality or gets closer to it, there may be psychological discomfort if no pain. Naturally, it is rewarding to return to the realm of fantasy in order to get relief. Discomfort revealed by reality often demands that an individual do something that is materially different from what they did before. That often involves ‘effort’ – and effort means more discomfort. So – reality is not a rewarding place in the first instance. Fantasy is more immediately rewarding – in being more soothing and comfortable. In other words fantasy can become an analgesic. Some people with chronic pain from physical illnesses do legitimately need chronic analgesia. And some people with chronic laziness – unrelated to a ‘mental condition’ – need chronic fantasies.
In closing, I’m not saying that everybody needs to be a hard nosed realist. What I am saying is that fantasy can be useful at times but also self-defeating at other times.
The above statements are opinions – not advice for any known or unknown person(s).