Some will have heard of Schrödinger’s Cat  and some will not have heard of it. Those who have not heard of it may reach for Google or YouTube – but they may be too dim to understand any of that. Oooo.. how condescending! You can’t speak reality these days on social media without infantilising, insulting, or bullying someone or the other.

Well, this is about Schrödinger’s microwave. Schrödinger lived in an era when microwaves did not exist. Ahhhh..but maybe in an alternate universe microwaves did exist for him. You never know! ? Anything is possible in the quantum world, where the same cat can be dead and alive at the same time or dead in one universe but alive in another etc.

So – tonight 2021-02-04, around 19:00, I had a Schrödinger-type experience with the existence of a microwave! I kid you not! Unfortunately to learn of it – subject to your own free choice – so as not to bully anybody – you may wish to read on. But be warned, you may understand jacksh!t.

Right – so I get back to my hotel just a couple minutes away from work. I transfer stuff from the car to my room – as I usually do. I had heated some roast chicken and sprouts in a microwave at work and had that in a container. But had detoured to Tesco first, so naturally it got a bit colder in the boot of my car. I wasn’t worried about that cuz I knew that on other nights the chaps at the front desk would simply get it into a microwave in the kitchen and just give it a minute of heat, which is just fine.

Ahh.. but tonight something different happened. I had a premonition that it would cuz I eyeballed the chap at the frontdesk, who looked like a wanker – scruffy hair, poor eye contact, non-verbals that suggested he was a true meat robot (MR). Tough – people are what they look like. Did I say ‘all the time’? I did NOT! So just minutes after unpacking stuff in my room, I politely asked the wanker if he could just give my food container (containing food, obviously) 30 seconds in the microwave. Here is how the conversation went.

MR: There is no microwave here, sorry.

CW: Oh.. there was one here last night in the kitchen – a good industrial grade one. It is the one where you press 3 and 0 then the green button.

MR: Errhh.. I don’t think there is one.

CW: Maybe you could check to see if it is still there

MR: Well, we’re not allowed to use it. [Hold on ‘not allowed to use it‘? How does one use or not use something that doesn’t exist? Go figure – on your own time.]

CW: Oh

MR: It is a health and safety issue. Maybe if a manager was here they could allow it. [Ahh.. so a manager can break health and safety law! Wow! Managers are sooo powerful – aren’t they? And they can use things that don’t exist or exist in another continuum! OMG!]

CW: Oh – okay. [You don’t argue with a wanker – alias massive fool or meat robot!]

This was a cherished experience. I so loved it. So – somebody wants to know if I ate cold or lukewarm food. I did NOT! I just came back to my room, which is next to the main office and put it in my food warmer for 30 mins. It was then piping hot. Yep – I prepare for idiots like the above. Oooh.. I’m sure somebody is likely to argue, “Is it legal to use a food warmer in a hotel?” It probably isn’t cuz these things are a fire risk – aren’t they? 40 watts is dangerous – isn’t it? Far greater danger than the average kettle in a hotel room or electric wall radiator which generates significantly more heat and fire risk. I’ll probably be arrested quite soon – wait for it (or not).

Right – so returning to scenario above (whilst fighting off some idiot in the back of my mind):

1. A microwave existed on one day and was used.
2. Then the same microwave did not exist on the next day, so could not be used.
3. Then it suddenly in a split second morphed into existence, but still could not be used.

Hey – no problem, if Schrödinger’s Cat could be dead and alive in alternate universes, what do you leave for a mere inanimate microwave!? So sure – this not strictly a Schrödinger’s Cat situation but it is pretty close methinks, even if no one else thinks so. I think what I want – just like anybody else!

Well this strange on-off existence of a microwave – flipping between universes – could be due to some quirk of nature in a quantum field or time warp, or sumik. And you could go off and study to obtain a doctorate in special relativity or quantum physics to learn about how stuff like this might happen.

Or – you can not do that – and just understand that the existence and functionality of things are products of the human mind! So – you could instead go off and study hard to become a psychologist, psychiatrist or some other ‘ist’, to understand how the human mind holds powers to bend the laws of nature!

What you really need to study is the Laws of Stupidity! Just read Bonhoeffer, or more of this blog. Chrysst!

What’s next? How dare you to ask! You bugger right off!!

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