Scratching from home

by Captain Walker

Categories: Rights and Freedoms, Humanities

Oh yes – this is what people do when they claim they’re working from home. Did I say ‘everybody’? I did not! It is amazing isn’t it – how people reach for the exceptions first. Okay – so yes – loads of people, do work hard from home in the pandemic period. Right – so that’s out of the way.

I’m saying what I’m seeing or sensing – because obviously I’m not in their homes to see what on earth they’re doing. Here are some of the reasons for not being able to contact people who are supposedly working from home:

  1. I was in the toilet.
  2. My landline went dead.
  3. My phone battery died.
  4. The dog hid my phone.
  5. Had to take granny to the hospital.

Did I do a statistical survey of the number of times I’ve heard the above and similar? I did not! I will not. Look, I’ve heard the excuses too many times, among a minority of people. The above are offered with a sense of entitlement and confidence. Yep confidence. After all, in a certain health service, you can’t tell people “Sorry I’m not having that – control your dog! And manage your bledy phone!” Ooooo.. you don’t want to get a complaint about bullying.

Ahhh… but the way the stupid will work this is to say, “Well, if it is just a minority of people how could you be making such sweeping and disparaging statements?” And I’ll go, “Well, I can and I do because I’m only talking about a minority of situations I experience. It can’t be just me who is experiencing this. It must be happening all over the country in other parts of health services and in other public services. It would be daft to think that a service has selected me only to have this experience. So there has to be an aggregate of my similar experience that adds up to a whole lot.

The great thing about ‘scratching from home’ is that your co-workers are not around to see you actually scratching your arse! And you can break wind all day without anyone else noticing. It is brilliant – isn’t it for scratchers: do a few emails, answer the phone occasionally, give lame excuses when you don’t answer the phone, leisurely write up a report, say you had a splitting headache, tell people that the dog is sick, that you have a dental appointment, or that granny was suffering with chest pain.

It’ll take probably another 5 years for Working From Home (WFH), to be truly recognised as Scratching From Home (SFH). How? Because nobody – like nobody – in the peri-pandemic period wants to be seen as coming down hard on workers. Yuh know – everybody needs to be Ooooo so supportive.

Haters will be about to ask me, “Is your rant over?“.  This is another thing – speaking plain with emotion in this country is labelled as ‘ranting’. Hang on a sec – when did it become ‘law’ that people cannot do that and should be labelled and marginalised. Okayyy…so the rant is over. Now bugger off!

Disclaimer & Guidance

The reading of posts on this blog is subject to the Terms & Conditions. Unpalatable truths and personal experiences may be told. Nothing posted on this blog is directed at any identified person. On occasions individuals are quoted anonymously. That does not mean that they have been identified to the world. Should any person or organisation reading this blog find something that makes them feel or know that they  are being referred to – any such perceived identification does not mean ‘identified to the world’. ‘Stupid‘ is an impish figment of my imagination who occasionally is allowed to pop up – and does not represent any known individual, individuals or groups. The treatment of  ‘Stupid‘ is not representative of the way people are treated in real life. Adverse inferences made are dismissed in advance.  


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