Oh yes – it was another day in ‘Paradise’. This is a place that cannot be named, cuz I’m not economically independent as yet. But.. but one day the beans will be spilt – fully! Until then just get the anonymised story.

So, there is nail-biting anxiety among folk over here about using a thing called OneDrive. It’s in use in lots of places across may ‘kingdoms’ in Paradise. But in one particular neck of the woods, denizens are so stupid they’ve never heard of it – or if they have they won’t use it. Why? Because they’re afraid they get into trouble. No amount of explanation does any good. Why? Because I’m nobody. In Paradise only folk at the top of the tree or in some positions of authority are to be believed.

And – whatever the top brass says is taken as gospel, regardless of how ridiculous it is. Why? Because to disagree or express disbelief is a cardinal sin – that leads to a sacking. Oh yes – that’s how it works in Stalinist Paradise!

So, what happened? IT guy has told folk that OneDrive requires a license and Paradise bosses have not purchased licenses – which means I must have been using OneDrive illegally. And that means that anybody who uses it is using it illegally. And that puts the fear of God into Paradise workers who simply switch off on anything I might have to say.

Person A told me what IT guy said about licenses. I said to Person A that he was talking nonsense because the license comes from a different part of Paradise high command. Person A is as dim as you can get about anything IT, so is a nervous wreck. It appeared that Person A told IT guy what I had said. I can think that because when I bump into IT guy for the first time this afternoon he’s not looking at me in a favourable way. Person A brings up OneDrive. IT guy goes into a long explanation about licences for Microsoft Office 365 as if I’m a total fool. He doesn’t know that I actually know more about it than he does. So, at one point I butt in and I’m told by him to listen to what he’s saying. So, I shut up for a bit. But then he continues on this wrong track. I butt in again when I think he’s come up for air. He interrupts me to say that if I’m going to go on like that he’ll have to report it to his line manager. Woooo…so I appear to shake in fear and give him more room. I was so enjoying this. Yuh know – when you see a fool talking rubbish there is no rush. I relish these moments where people don’t know that they don’t know – and because of their position of authority they know they are right.

So – after another pause for air by Person A, I tippy toe to make a comment. By now this guy is looking so ruffled, by God knows what! So, I explain how I’m using OneDrive. His next comment is, ‘Right I’ll have to Datix that’ – which means I’ve done something so wrong. At this point he is cock sure that he is right and I’m wrong for using OneDrive for the business at Paradise. So – I go great go right ahead, and when they look into it they’ll find that IT are the people who told me weeks ago that it was fine to use OneDrive. He goes into figures on licences for O365. I’m allowing him to appear soooo knowledgeable. Poor chap – he doesn’t know he is being ‘orchestrated’ to make a fool of himself.

He goes on some tangent about how I’m critical of IT at local neck of Paradise where we are. So – I go “So what? I’ve seen other necks of Paradise where IT is far better and I’ll criticise anything that is poor based on evidence.” I point out the numerous Datixes that have accumulated over a year – about the failed IT system – that he very well knows about. So, I add, “My criticism is based on that evidence. Everybody knows that IT is a mess for over a year. That means it’s a failure.” He’s listening now and has to STFU because he very well knows exactly what I’m talking about. I can’t recall his actual words but he then goes on about how my complaints return to him and there is nothing he can do to solve the problems, and how he feels some pressure personally. I said, “I have nothing to do with your personal suffering. I don’t know you. It’s the first time I’ve met you. Why would I have anything personal against you? My criticism of IT here is not personal against you.” He’s obviously looking and feeling like the paranoid idiot he is.

BTW – Person A who is present has STFU and has distracted herself with stuff on her computer. She knows that everything I’m saying is true about IT. IT guy bangs on about how he can’t fix the machines that cause problems with MS Teams. I then give my experience of how IT works well in other places in Paradise, when there is the right equipment. We deviate further to talk about computer specifications. But at this point he doesn’t realise that I’m leading him to an understanding that actually I happen to know about the technology. He’s more in listening mode, as he’s probably not met a person in my sort of professional role who actually knows much about the technology and more than him. Recall that he has already messed up by assuming something licenses for O365, which are not necessary (because cloud-based version which I was talking about already comes with license from Paradise high command).

Oh yes – he works for IT as I said, in case anyone reading this had a doubt. I continue, “And the head of Information Governance knows that I’m using OneDrive in accordance with the IG policies.” Finally, IT guy pauses to listen a bit, cuz I’m not cowering in fear. What would I have to fear anyway? Him? Get a grip! I have bigger fools for breakfast – uggghh.. chuhknowha’ahmean!

So – I explain to IT (fool) guy that OneDrive comes in two versions – he’s talking about the OneDrive application that comes with O365 and I’m talking about the cloud-based version that comes with a separate license from Paradise high command. It works in a browser but can connect seamlessly to their ditsy outdated Office 2010 (The latest is either Office 2019 or O365). Further I explain that local Paradise group where we are, have the power to block cloud-based use of OneDrive and they haven’t – thereby making his threat of Datixing me a nonsensical threat, and power-play.

In the end he pipes down. He realises that he was off-track in banging on about the irrelevant licences for O365. But he’s not got the balls to say ‘sorry I misunderstood.. I was on the wrong track’. It’s what a fool doesn’t say that confirms once and for all that they are a fool! He ends up right where I want him. He asks about trouble shooting some of he equipment, and I offer to help him. LOL! He accepts and agrees to meet up with me next week at which point I’ll show him how I use OneDrive (cloud-based).

Of course, because he is such a moron he doesn’t realise that I will use his authority to change things for the better. So he’ll become a ‘mouth-piece’ for telling others that what I am doing is correct (as I know it is). I’ll have him talking to Information Governance and the other morons that surround me. Their minds will change – nothing to do with me. Right?

Why do I bother? What’s in it for me? Nothing except my exploration of stupid people and stupidity on planet Earth. That aside, we’re in jobs because of the customers we serve. But people want to dominate their own kingdoms instead of seeing the big picture. Paradise is funded by public money.