For the love of cliché
I’m pretty sure some will be jumping on the net to read up what cliché means. Nobody is getting a dissertation here today. To start off net-crawlers, go here to read up.
The one that has been getting to me more in the last 2 years is ‘.. to be fair‘. Every time I hear it, I’m thinking “To be fair to what!!? FFS! What’s the principle of fairness?” I’m bound to be labelled with Asperger’s or something, cuz everybody thinks it’s cool to use those sorts of cliché words. Yuh know, it’s such a part of ordinary Brit-culture. The ‘to be fair’ thing puts people on the back foot because in Eng-uh-land nobody is gonna dare argue the toss that there is no issue of fairness involved, and the person uttering these words is most times trying railroad some stupid or minor point.
The next one is “We are where we are.” Like what the devil does that really mean?! Could we ever be somewhere that we aren’t – like namely somewhere else but the present moment in time? I guess most people are doing time-travelling. The people I’ve observed using the latter are the ones who want to move some point on and not allow exploration of how we arrived at the current situation. Nobody likes incompetence being confronted head on. Oh no – in Eng-uh-land confronting people on the rubbish they speak is taken as aggression, except of course if you’re a dim politician on Radio 4 being ripped apart for the nonsense you spouted. But other than Radio 4 or sometimes LBC, confrontation of rubbish is ‘aggression’.
But there is another one that I’m wondering about. On messaging apps I have come across “How you?” Seriously? You’re asking me ‘how you’ in a messaging app? What – like am I supposed to give you how I am in a text message? What a fricking set of idiots who gravitate towards me. The latter cliché question is the pinnacle of superficiality. On one occasion I responded, “Eudaimonic as usual.” – and the response was “That’s all I need to know.” Then about 3 weeks later I get the “How are you?” again. Like do I have time for this rubbish? I do not! But wait – I also get the ‘How you?’ or ‘How are you?’ thing in voice conversations. People must think that I’m so fawking dim that I’d accept such ‘Uber superficiality’ as something of value. The way it seems to work is, “Well I’ve kept in contact and expressed an interest – so that keeps the relationship in tact.” That’s so bledy airheaded it’s beyond ridiculous.
And then, there is another type who thinks that they can mimic depth of (voice) conversation. What they don’t know is that I’m observing their speech patterns, breathing patterns and the microseconds between their words and sentences. So, I very well have a good idea when their minds are elsewhere; trying to appear to be friendly. They’re keeping up a conversation to ‘do the time thing’. Of course they get away with that 90-odd percent of the time with their usual social contacts – dim and equally superficial as they are. I of course play along a lot of the time to ensure that I know who is a dim so and so.
I’m sure some who think I’m their friend are reading this – and will now distance themselves more from me. Do I give a fricking monkeys? I do NOT! I am so better off with these folk ‘away from me’. That means, if you are offended, bugger right off! Don’t even come near me and try to argue “How harsh? I really wanted to know ‘how are you?” You fooled most of the people most of the time. I’m not most of the people!
Stupid: You are IMPOSSIBLE!
CW: Thank you. Thank you. Don’t wear my name out! You’re back in the box. Off you pop – instantly!
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