Joke – Man with Rolls Royce

by Captain Walker

Categories: Entertainment

I’ve trawled through all my posts – not one by one but with the search engine in the backend – and realised that I’ve not posted any jokes up here. So this one starts a series on jokes that will have a tag of ‘jokes’.

Rude interruption

Stupid: So you’re planning to become a comedian. Now that’s a laugh. ??

CW: No – I’m planning no such thing. I just wanted to share some jokes.

Stupid: You and jokes – is that even possible?!

CW: Yes – I pick up a few jokes from others that I think were good ones. So I thought I could share the laughs around.

Stupid: Nobody will laugh at your jokes!

CW: It is not my jokes. I’m not interested to find out who would laugh or not, or find them funny. I can’t please everybody. How do you know that ‘nobody‘ will laugh’?

Stupid: It is just about you – you just make people cry all the time.

CW: How do you know that –  have you met these ‘people’ to know that they’re crying ‘all the time’?

Stupid: No. But I can just imagine.

CW: So your imagination is the thing – is it? Your imagination becomes fact?

Stupid: Yes – duhh.

CW: Well that’s lovely! It is the reason you exist. Thanks for your univited contribution. Now back in the box!

[collapse]

Sorry about that. To continue with the joke now.

Mr Singh's Rolls Royce

Mr Singh, smartly dressed, walks into a bank in London and asks for the loans assessor. A meeting happens promptly - good service. Mr Singh says that he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The loans assessor says that the bank will need some kind of security for the loan.

Mr Singh promptly presents the keys to his new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds. He says, "See it there - the car is parked on the street in front of the bank (visible through the glass panes of the building), and here are all the necessary papers.”

The assessor says, "I'll be back in a minute. Let me do some quick checks on our computer." - to get a minute to consult with the bank manager, as all this seems so strange. The bank manager says, "It's a no brainer. Give him the loan."

The assessor returns quickly, to accept the car as collateral for the loan. One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. After Mr Singh leaves, laughter breaks out in the bank's tea room when everybody heard about Singh using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.

Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, and effortlessly repays the £5000 plus the interest, which comes to £15.41. In quickly completing the payment, a representative says, "Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?"

Mr Singh replies, "Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?"

The reading of posts on this blog is subject to the Terms & Conditions. Unpalatable truths and personal experiences may be told. Nothing posted on this blog is directed at any identified person. On occasions individuals are quoted anonymously. That does not mean that they have been identified to the world. Should any person or organisation reading this blog find something that makes them feel or know that they  are being referred to - any such perceived identification does not mean 'identified to the world'. ‘Stupid' is an impish figment of my imagination who occasionally is allowed to pop up – and does not represent any known individual or individuals. ‘Stupid'  carries the characteristics groups of people with 'social media mindsets'. The treatment of  'Stupid' is not representative of the way people are treated in real life. Adverse inferences made are dismissed in advance. 

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