Apparently – I’m supposed to keep a database.

by Captain Walker

Categories: Humanities

Oh yes – some in my circles are unaware how to mute WhatsApp, and how to mute their phones’ notifications.

How do I know this? Because on occasions over they years I’ve had people saying things like “Please do not message me after 9PM” or others 10PM or 11PM etc. Ahhh.. so I’m supposed to keep a database and check it before I message ‘some people’.

Then I have others who would go, “I’m not interested in that sort of content.” That means I need to also keep track of what content each individual is interested in or likes.

In addition some people are unaware how to switch off their mobile phones’ internet connection after a certain time – or they can’t be arsed.

So if I was to do this the databased table would look something like:

NameCommunication TimeframePreferred TopicsRestricted TopicsAdditional Notes
John DoeNot after 9PMTechnology, SportsPolitics, Personal financePrefers SMS over email. Has a short attention span and is a dimwit on most days.
Jane SmithNot after 10PMArts, LiteratureCryptocurrenciesAvoid discussing health, politics law. Say only nice things to them and never present them with facts.
Bob JohnsonNot after 11PMFinance, Stock Market, philosophy. Religious contentLoves detailed emails. Does not like SMS.
Alice CooperAnytimeMusic, Film ProductionNoneHighly responsive. Likes detailed messages.

Well, it is not a cold day in hell! That lot can bugger right off. I have no need of people who are so dumbass to think that I would spend my time pandering to their wishes. It is very simple how to manage notifications – you Google it. If you don’t like my messages, then it is easy to block them. Dumbasses will hear much less from me! I don’t give a flying flamingo!

Caution: I don’t call up people at all hours of the day or night either. I perfectly understand that I ought to respect people’s time in sending them messages. And I perfectly understand they are also responsible for managing their own private time to some extent. If you don’t want messages to sound a notification, switch them off after a certain time.

When I hit the sack usually around 01:00 to 02:00AM the internet is switched off, so no WhatsApp messages come to me. The phone remains on to ring for calls or sound for text messages. Anyone calling at 04:00AM had better have a really urgent matter. That’s not happened in the last 15 years. On occasions I simply hit DND button and everything is silenced, except the alarm to wake me up on mornings.