The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Stupidity

by Captain Walker

Categories: Humanities

Expanding on the Fifteen observations on stupid statements and stupid people I now create the Hitchhiker’s Guide to Stupidity! This list will be expanded in time.

  1. Stupid statements are generated more often than not by stupid people, who seem to have an uncanny ability to defy the laws of probability.
  2. Seemingly intelligent people are also capable of generating stupid statements, proving that even the brightest minds can have their “D’oh!” moments.
  3. Rocks, bricks, sticks, stones, and lower forms of animal life cannot be expected to generate stupid statements, but they may be the silent witnesses to human stupidity.
  4. Stupid statements are therefore necessarily human-generated, solidifying our position as the undisputed champions of nonsense.
  5. Stupid statements can be expected to exceed the number of stupid people in existence, thanks to the power of social media and the internet, which amplify stupidity at the speed of light.
  6. Stupid statements tend to accumulate over time, even after stupid people have departed to another world, leaving behind a legacy of facepalm-worthy quotes for future generations to marvel at.
  7. The number of stupid statements generated by stupid people depends primarily, but not exclusively, on their stupidity quotient and the stupidity of their audience, creating a vicious cycle of idiocy.
  8. Stupidity quotient can be a function of both high and low IQ, and political status, proving that stupidity is an equal-opportunity affliction.
  9. Stupidity can be multifactorial, with contributing factors ranging from lack of education to an overabundance of confidence in one’s own ignorance.
  10. Stupid people tend not to know they are stupid, or how stupid they are, which is a blessing in disguise, as the realisation might cause their heads to implode.
  11. Little self-restraint can therefore be expected to come from stupid people generating stupid statements, as they gleefully wade through the swamp of their own inanity.
  12. Stupid people tend to use the same stupid logic they use to argue away their stupidity, and in so doing, tend to generate even more stupid statements, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of absurdity.
  13. Stupidity seriously endangers the survival of the human race, as it threatens to drown out the voices of reason in a sea of nonsensical babble.
  14. The stupidity of dead people also endangers the survival of the human race, as their ill-conceived ideas and actions continue to haunt us from beyond the grave, like a ghostly chorus of idiocy.
  15. Stupidity is like a boomerang; it keeps coming back to you, no matter how hard you try to throw it away.
  16. Stupidity can exceed the speed of light!
  17. Stupidity is the one thing that unites us all, regardless of race, religion, or political affiliation.
  18. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
  19. Stupidity is the invisible force that makes the world go round, and sometimes makes it spin out of control.
  20. Stupidity is like a black hole; it sucks in everything around it, including common sense and logic.
  21. The best way to fight stupidity is with laughter, because it’s the only thing that can penetrate its thick skull.
  22. Stupidity is the one natural resource that seems to be in endless supply, no matter how much we consume.
  23. Stupidity is like a bad penny; it always turns up when you least expect it.
  24. The problem with trying to argue with stupid people is that they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
  25. Stupidity is the one thing that transcends the boundaries of time and space, making it the ultimate universal constant.
  26. The only thing more dangerous than stupidity is stupidity plus a microphone or a keyboard.
  27. Stupidity is like a gas; it expands to fill the available space, especially in meetings and on social media.
  28. The best way to measure the level of stupidity in a room is by the number of open mouths and blank stares.
  29. Stupidity may be a temporary condition for some, but for others, it’s a lifelong commitment.
  30. Stupidity is the glue that holds the fabric of society together, and sometimes it feels like we’re all stuck in one giant, sticky mess.
  31. The only thing that outnumbers stupid people is the number of stupid ideas they come up with.
  32. Stupidity is like a superpower; it gives people the ability to ignore facts, logic, and reason with a single bound.
  33. The difference between stupidity and genius is that stupidity has no limits, while genius knows when to stop.
  34. Stupidity is the one thing that makes us all equal, but some people seem to be more equal than others.
  35. The problem with trying to educate stupid people is that they don’t know they’re stupid, which makes them even more stupid.
  36. Stupidity is like a shadow; it follows you everywhere you go, and sometimes it’s the only thing people see.
  37. The best way to deal with stupid people is to smile, nod, and slowly back away, hoping they don’t follow you.
  38. Stupidity is the one thing that never goes out of style, no matter how much we wish it would.
  39. The only thing more contagious than stupidity is laughter, which is why it’s important to find humour in even the most ridiculous situations.
  40. Stupidity is like a bad haircut; it’s always more noticeable on someone else than on yourself.
  41. The difference between stupidity and brilliance is that brilliance has its limits, while stupidity knows no bounds.
  42. Stupidity is the one thing that makes the impossible possible, and the improbable inevitable.
  43. The best way to fight stupidity is with education, but sometimes even that isn’t enough to penetrate the thick fog of ignorance.

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