Things will work themselves out – I’m told

This week was amazing! I met a really intelligent person, who reminded me of myself when I was much younger. In the course of our conversations, we identified some challenges or things that need to be resolved in their work-life interface. All inferences made about my relationship to this person are dismissed in advance and are of no particular relevance to the individual.

Whenever I go deeper in situations like these I see masked-discomfort followed by avoidance. This is of course where one reaches a limit – often seen in non-verbals. And no – I don’t try to push or ‘probe’ anybody! Chrysst! The classic phrase I hear in the face of multi-faceted or complex circumstances, is, “Things will work themselves out” [TWWTO] .

Well – this TWWTO phrase made me think deeper about human nature. If one takes the phrase – which is so commonly used – and thinks about it, what it means is that  a complex set of variables will somehow or the other come to a favourable solution. Obviously nobody is expected to let things work out by themselves, hoping for unfavourable outcomes. ‘Things‘ obviously means the interaction of ‘the’ set of variables. Ahahhhh.. . so that means as if by magic, the variables are destined to be resolved to one’s overall advantage. The concept actually falls into the category of  ‘magical thinking’. Am I trying to insult this person? I am not! Just to be clear: I have not made the person identifiable, and I have not stated anything about the contents of what was spoken about. Note carefully, that I only used what came up as it jogged my memory about something I needed to explore in human nature.

So what does it mean? It means that there is a very prominent thread in human nature to believe whatever it wants to in a rather child-like manner. And even adults who recognise how childish these thoughts are believe ‘it’s fine’ to say these things on the grounds that ‘everybody’ says similar. Here again the cultural norm and herd-effects makes it alright. One does not need to be a psychologist to understand that people try to be ‘positive’ and maintain hope by saying these silly things to themselves. I’m sorry – positive thinking and hope does not solve complex issues. They might help a little but no way does positive thinking and hope actually work on complex variables to find advantageous solutions. Now did I say that positive thinking and hope are to be avoided? I did NOT! What I was saying – actually – is very specific.

1. Problems in life, challenges – or whateverrrr you wanna call it – simply do not work themselves out to one’s advantage.
2. If anything, problems often interact with each other and cause even bigger problems if one leaves them alone. Some fool needs an example. Well if you have a heart problem, diabetes and arthritis, why bother to see a doctor – just thinking positively, living in hope and repeating to yourself daily, “things will work themselves out“. Sure  – they will – and you’ll be worked out of 30 years of life expectancy quite easily. I fail to see how that is to one’s advantage, unless one is covertly suicidal.

But the TWWTO attitude, whilst being avoidant (for whatever reasons), also represents a degree of laziness. Note that I said ‘a degree of laziness’. Nobody is 100% un-lazy! Okay, ‘dithering’ and ‘waiting to see’ are milder substitute terminologies. As it is a free country, people are allowed to be as lazy and dithering as they like about their personal circumstances – I get that totally! Do I need to say that again. Yes I do! As it is a free country, people are allowed to be as lazy  and dithering as they like about their personal circumstances – I get that totally! Done it. Repeated it.

Aaarrrgghhhhh!!

Stupid: So you’re saying that you think you’re ‘really intelligent’?! How arrogant! 

CW:  How the devil did you get in here – againnnnn!? WTF are you on about!?

Stupid: You will recall that I am a figment of your imagination which you try to control – perhaps you should exert more control! 

CW: Well yes – you have a point there. 

Stupid: So are you gonna answer my question? You implied that you’re ‘really intelligent’. You’re so full of yourself – aren’t you. 

CW:  Okay – no, I’m not ‘saying’ that I’m really intelligent. What I said was the person was really intelligent – AND – he reminded me of myself. I did not say in what way. But you seem to have a problem if one would declare that one was really intelligent – is that it? 

Stupid:  Yes – it is arrogant to declare directly or indirectly that one is ‘really intelligent’. 

CW: So you mean that if it is a fact, it is still arrogant to declare it? 

Stupid:  Yes

CW: So what should one do? 

Stupid: You should not put yourself above other people!!!! 

CW:  Are you saying that if one has abilities better than the average of other people one should not talk about it?

Stupid:  Yes!

CW:  That’s why your name is….. now bugger off! You probably know but I’ll tell you, I don’t give a monkeys! 

Stupid:  NO! I’m not buggering off. You’re insulting people by calling them lazy! How dare you! 

CW:  People are in general lazy to various degrees! It is a fact! Should I suppress the facts and my observations of them? 

Stupid:  Yes! You should not say anything harsh about people!

CW:  So let me see if I get this, facts and observations expressed about them may be harsh on some people, so I should not say anything about facts. 

Stupid:  Yes!

CW:  Right! I’ve had enough of your crap. I’m gonna harshly return you to your cage. I need to exert more control as you said! End of! 

I apologise to myself. I don’t even really know why at times, I let this moron out of his/her cage. I’ll have to work on that, because I don’t believe that this will just work itself out!