Achieved: Mission Impossible!

The photographs will be an instant distraction in this post. Yeah some saw a boiled or poached egg on plate, and will have thought ‘What’s great about that?!! FFS‘.

Except that it isn’t ‘a boiled or poached egg’ in the usual sense of how eggs are boiled or poached (using water in a pot)!! It is a microwaved egg! OMG – really? Yes – and it’s not the first time I did it, successfully. Read on (or not).

Over the years I will have been told the following words, “You fool – it can’t be done!” and “It just explodes in the microwave – you know this! Why do you even try it?” Yep this is the sort of insults and jibes I was subject to, when I blew up probably about a dozen eggs (sequentially) in microwaves, over a 10 year period. So – it wasn’t something I was doing with great frequency. It was a covert operation – to avoid being arrested! LOL! The failures were painful – not just about the insults and people laughing at me – but the cleaning of microwave ovens after my failed experiments was not fun! 😂😱 I would have tasted parts of the blown up microwaved eggs, and yes they did taste like rubber. I did not give up! Whyyyyy?!!

I had a firm belief based on the science of how microwaves work and how boiling works (on eggs). Boiling or poaching is heat-transfer from outside the egg to inside the egg – very basic. All a microwave is doing, is heating the egg directly to the inside. That was the dangerous part. On occasion I would have heard and seen me egg explode like a bomb – blowing open the door of the microwave, scattering stuff all over! 😄🙄🤣 People would rush in laughing and insulting me in the same go. I’d of course feel pretty foolish. So – I  learned to experiment when no else was around! Safer – innit? 🤐

I was stubborn! I had to do this impossible thing because I knew there must be a way to cook an egg in a microwave without exploding it. What was I doing wrong? Well, I realised that the egg was becoming super-heated and it was that which led to explosions. So – the first challenge was to not super-heat the egg. I set about (over that 10 year period), thinking how to do it. The internet was of no use to me, on how to do it. I tried what was said up there, but it didn’t work. Then, I tried intermittently cooking the egg i.e. turning the microwave on and off. That failed too – still explosions. 💣

Then I came across a little plastic egg pot designed for microwaving eggs about two years ago. So – at least somebody knew it was possible to do. It’s nothing special, just the usual egg holder but made of plastic. I’d crack the egg and pop the contents in it, then do it in the microwave.  I even blew up 3 eggs using it. The plastic made no difference. So – doubt set in big time. I thought, ‘I’ve been ripped off £3 for this microwave egg cooking thingy.

Not giving up – then I tried using different power settings on my microwave and doing it in stages, using the plastic egg-pot. Finally I got it! The following power settings and sequence worked! 300 x 70 seconds, then 270 x 50 second, then 100 x 30 seconds – that’s 2.5 minutes (pretty efficient methinks). The result is what you see in the photo, and I’ve now done it 6 times with no explosions. Two things became important: 1) cooking the egg without its shell and 2) getting the power settings and sequence right. Without persistence – alias stubbornness – the latter two would not have happened.

Ahhhh.. .but what about that rubber taste? Nope – no rubber! It’s the same taste as a traditional poached egg but without the runny water around it. Oh – and no (hydrogen sulphide) smell of that you would normally get when peeling a boiled egg from its shell.

Conclusions and warning

  1. What is improbable (or seemingly impossible) carries a high failure rate, and may have high risk associated with it.
  2. I’m not saying that by practising at the impossible means that you’ll always succeed. So don’t go practising to fly by jumping off high buildings using brollies as windbreaks – okayyyyy? 🙄🤦‍♂️
  3. The impossible is achievable where  science, evidence and sound reasoning come to bear on it.
  4. Controlled persistence in the latter circumstance can win – but also still carries a high failure rate.
  5. I am not recommending microwaving eggs to everybody.
  6. My microwave settings and sequence may not work for other people. (This means if you blow up an egg in a microwave using my procedure, and cause yourself or someone else injury – you are fully responsible).

Disclaimer & Guidance

The reading of posts on this blog is subject to the Terms & Conditions. Unpalatable truths and personal experiences may be told. Nothing posted on this blog is directed at any identified person. On occasions individuals are quoted anonymously. That does not mean that they have been identified to the world. Should any person or organisation reading this blog find something that makes them feel or know that they  are being referred to – any such perceived identification does not mean ‘identified to the world’. ‘Stupid‘ is an impish figment of my imagination who occasionally is allowed to pop up – and does not represent any known individual, individuals or groups. The treatment of  ‘Stupid‘ is not representative of the way people are treated in real life. Adverse inferences made are dismissed in advance.  

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