Estimated reading time at 200 wpm: 7 minutes
If you don’t know who the Ferengi are, then you need to get a life!
Whether or not you agree our Fat Disclaimer applies
| # | Ferengi Rule |
|---|---|
| 0 | What the Nagus wants, we acquire. |
| 1 | Once you have their money… you never give it back. |
| 2 | The best deal is the one that brings the most profit. |
| 3 | Money is everything. |
| 4 | Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. |
| 5 | Sedition and treason are always profitable. |
| 6 | Always exaggerate your estimates. |
| 7 | Never allow family law stand in the way of opportunity. |
| 8 | Keep your ears open. |
| 9 | Small print leads to large risk. |
| 10 | Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. |
| 11 | Greed is eternal. |
| 12 | Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. |
| 13 | Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you. |
| 14 | Dead men close no deals. |
| 15 | A deal is a deal… until a better one comes along. |
| 16 | A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Ferengi |
| 17 | A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. |
| 18 | Satisfaction is not guaranteed. |
| 19 | He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow. |
| 20 | Never place friendship above profit. |
| 21 | A wise man can hear profit in the wind. |
| 22 | Nothing is more important than your health… except for your money. |
| 23 | There’s nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. |
| 24 | What’s in it for me? |
| 25 | “Confidentiality equals profit.” |
| 26 | Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother. Insult something he cares about instead. |
| 27 | It never hurts to suck up to the boss. |
| 28 | War is good for business. |
| 29 | Peace is good for business. |
| 30 | The early investor reaps the most interest. |
| 31 | Don’t tell customers more than they need to know. |
| 32 | She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. |
| 33 | Profit is its own reward. |
| 34 | Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it. |
| 35 | Never confuse wisdom with luck. |
| 36 | Expand or die. |
| 37 | Don’t trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. |
| 38 | The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. |
| 39 | Never ask when you can take. |
| 40 | Never trust anybody taller than you. |
| 41 | Rate divided by time equals profit. (Also known as “The Velocity of Wealth.”) |
| 42 | Take joy from profit, and profit from joy. |
| 43 | Good customers are as rare as latinum—treasure them. |
| 44 | There is no substitute for success. |
| 45 | Free advice is seldom cheap. |
| 46 | Keep your lies consistent. |
| 47 | The riskier the road, the greater the profit. |
| 48 | Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees. |
| 49 | Win or lose, there’s always Hupyrian beetle snuff |
| 50 | Someone’s always got bigger ears. |
| 51 | Risk doesn’t always equal reward. |
| 52 | Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races. |
| 53 | Knowledge equals profit. |
| 54 | Home is where the heart is… but the stars are made of latinum. |
| 55 | Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. |
| 56 | If you break it, I’ll charge you for it! |
| 57 | Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. |
| 58 | The flimsier the product, the higher the price. |
| 59 | Never let the competition know what you’re thinking. |
| 60 | Learn the customer’s weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him. |
| 61 | It ain’t over ’til its over. |
| 62 | Vengeance will cost you everything. |
| 63 | Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. |
| 64 | [It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die. |
| 65 | Your boss is only worth what he pays you. |
| 66 | There are many paths to profit. |
| 67 | Females and finances don’t mix. |
| 68 | Expand or die. |
| 69 | Enough… is never enough. |
| 70 | Every man has his price. |
| 71 | If you can’t take it with you, don’t go. |
| 72 | Trust is the biggest liability of all. |
| 73 | When it’s good for business, tell the truth. |
| 74 | Profit trumps emotion. |
| 75 | Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. |
| 76 | Sleep can interfere with opportunity. |
| 77 | Faith moves mountains… of inventory. |
| 78 | There is no honor in poverty. |
| 79 | Hope doesn’t keep the lights on. |
| 80 | A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits. |
| 81 | Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. |
| 82 | Exploitation begins at home. |
| 83 | Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them. |
| 84 | Never have sex with the boss’ sister. |
| 85 | Always have sex with the boss. |
| 86 | You can’t free a fish from water. |
| 87 | Everything is for sale, even friendship. |
| 88 | Never Sleep with the bosses sister |
| 89 | Even a blind man can recognise the glow of Latinum. |
| 90 | You can’t make a deal if you’re dead. |
| 91 | Listen to secrets, but never repeat them. |
| 92 | Wives serve, brothers inherit. |
| 93 | Only fools pay retail. |
| 94 | There’s nothing wrong with charity… as long as it winds up in your pocket. |
| 95 | People love the bartender. |
| 96 | Even when you’re a customer, sell yourself. |
| 97 | Sell the sizzle, not the steak. |
| 98 | Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit. |
| 99 | Whisper your way to success. |
| 100 | Know your enemies… but do business with them always. |
| 101 | Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. |
| 102 | When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent. |
| 103 | A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves. |
| 104 | Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. |
| 105 | Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. |
| 106 | Hear all, trust nothing. |
| 107 | Never cheat a Klingon… unless you’re sure you can get away with it. |
| 108 | Trouble comes in threes. |
| 109 | It’s never too late to fire the staff. |
| 110 | It’s always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. |
| 111 | Location, location, location. |
| 112 | A Ferengi chooses no side but his own. |
| 113 | The justification for profit is profit. |
| 114 | New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. |
| 115 | A Tribble Always Means Customer Satisfaction |
| 116 | Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. |
| 117 | Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them. |
| 118 | A good lie is easier to believe than the truth. |
| 119 | Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach. |
| 120 | Never gamble with a telepath. |
| 121 | Always know what you’re buying. |
| 122 | You can’t free a fish from water. |
| 123 | Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much. |
| 124 | Possession is eleven-tenths of the law! |
| 125 | Beware the man who doesn’t take time for Oo-mox. |
| 126 | If that’s what’s written, then that’s what’s written. |
| 127 | Latinum lasts longer than lust. |
| 128 | Duck; death is tall. |
| 129 | You can’t buy fate. |
| 130 | Never be afraid to mislabel a product. |
| 131 | Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity. |
| 132 | More is good… all is better. |
| 133 | Always leave yourself an out. |
| 134 | The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results |
| 135 | A wife is luxury… a smart accountant a neccessity. |
| 136 | When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger. |
| 137 | A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. |
| 138 | Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. |
| 139 | When in doubt, lie. |
| 140 | If you believe it, they believe it. |
| 141 | Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal. |
| 142 | If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. |
| 143 | Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi. |
| 144 | No good deed ever goes unpunished. |
| 145 | When Morn leaves, it’s all over. |
| 146 | Always get somebody else to do the lifting. |
| 147 | Never get into anything that you can’t get out of. |
| 148 | A man is only worth the sum of his possessions. |
| 149 | An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally. |
| 150 | The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand. |
| 151 | Only a fool passes up a business opportunity. |
| 152 | The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend. |
| 153 | A bargain usually isn’t. |
| 154 | Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them…That way it’s easier to exploit them the next time. |
| 155 | When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it! |
