Three people stressed with job search and paperwork.

Captain Walker

The Perpetual “After This” Horizon or a Single Malt!

motivation, busy, dithering, action, later, after, instagram, people, planning

Estimated reading time at 200 wpm: 6 minutes

Tarek, a man whose calendar was less a schedule and more a multi-dimensional chessboard of future possibilities, often found himself utterly baffled by the linear logic of others.

Whether or not you agree our Fat Disclaimer applies

Cartoon man holding futuristic holographic tablet in lab.

He glided through life, a human equivalent of a satellite perpetually scanning for new celestial bodies, while many of his acquaintances seemed content to navigate by the stars that had already crashed. But they’re old mates from college days. He keeps in contact to better appreciate human nature. The understanding he gains, helps in his lines of business – he markets self-help books and organises motivational talks among a range of other things.

Interaction with Jane

Take Jane, for instance. A bona fide Gen Y marvel, Jane was a whirlwind of social engagements, specialty coffee, and declarations of being utterly exhausted. Tarek, ever the optimist, tried to nudge her gently.

Woman at laptop with thought bubble

Jane,” he’d begun one sun-drenched afternoon, watching her expertly juggle a flat white and an urgent group chat, “how’s that job hunt going? Remember you wanted something with more… purpose?

Jane sighed, a dramatic exhalation that suggested she’d just completed a marathon. “Oh, Tarek, don’t even! I mean, I need to. My savings account is currently performing a disappearing act, and my landlord gives me looks. But honestly, I’m just so tired. Like, mentally. I had brunch yesterday, then vintage shopping, then that spontaneous rooftop bar thing. My brain just can’t with cover letters right now. I’ll get to it after I’ve had a proper digital detox. Probably next month. Or maybe after my Bali trip.

Tarek nodded sagely, resisting the urge to point out that the Bali trip was currently a figment of her imagination, contingent on a job she hadn’t started looking for. “Right,” he murmured, “the old digital detox before financial solvency strategy. Bold. So, no time to even open a job board while you’re waiting for your barista to perfect that latte art?

Jane blinked. “Oh, no, Tarek. That’s for after. You know, when I’m fully rested and focused. Can’t multitask something as crucial as my future career with…Sorry – I’m catching up on Instagram stories, okayyy.

Interaction with Rob

Then there was Rob, the indefatigable proprietor of ‘Rob’s Rustic Relics,’ a bespoke ornament business. Rob was a man perpetually buried under a mountain of invoices, splintered wood, and the furious emails of customers whose handcrafted gnome statues had arrived with chipped hats. His profit margins were thinner than a supermodel’s patience, but he prided himself on “just balancing the books.”

Overwhelmed man buried under paper pile in office.

Tarek found Rob amidst a chaotic symphony of packing peanuts and muttered curses. “Rob, my man! How’s business?

Rob, wiping sawdust from his brow, managed a weak smile. “Tarek, honestly, I’m swamped. Another complaint about a wonky bird bath. And returns! Don’t even get me started. I’m thinking of pivoting, maybe into… well, I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I keep telling myself, ‘I’ll look into diversifying after I’ve cleared this backlog of grievances.’ You know, once things calm down a bit.

Tarek’s eyebrow did a slow, involuntary climb. “Right,” he drawled, “waiting for the calm in a business built on ‘bespoke’ and ‘ornaments’ is certainly a strategy. A bold one, perhaps. Almost… Zen-like in its optimism.” He paused, surveying the chaos. “Ever consider, say, using some AI for assistance with automating parts of your customer service, or perhaps a quality control check before the item leaves the workshop? Or even just sketching out a new product line during your lunch break?

Rob snorted, a fresh cloud of sawdust erupting. “AI? Oh, don’t even get me started, Tarek. I hear about it constantly, but honestly, I just can’t find the time or energy to look into it. It’s just another thing, isn’t it? I’ll check out AI after I’ve sorted out this batch of returns and personally apologised to Mrs. Higgins about her chipped garden Buddha. My focus has to be on the immediate fires, you know? Can’t be thinking about fancy tech solutions or new fires when I’m still extinguishing the existing ones.

Tarek’s Diary Entry: End of Day Reflections

Another fascinating day among the Earth-bound. Met with Jane. Bless her cotton socks. She’s convinced her career renaissance hinges on achieving a state of zen-like digital emptiness, which, given her social calendar, is roughly as likely as me taking up interpretive dance. Her job hunt is firmly parked in the after I’ve fully recovered from my last brunch category. I bet right now she’s probably scrolling through holiday homes she can’t afford, convinced her job search can only begin once her social calendar is entirely blank. One day, I’ll ask her if she plans to pay her rent with good vibes and Instagram likes. Nahhh.. scrub that, don’t want to cause offence.

Man writing in notebook while relaxing on armchair.

Then there’s Rob. Good chap, but his business is less a strategic enterprise and more a perpetual game of Whac-A-Mole with disgruntled customers. He’s so busy extinguishing metaphorical fires, he can’t possibly conceive of building a fire station. Or, you know, just not setting the building alight in the first place. He’s waiting for the calm. I’m fairly certain the calm in his business model is a mythical creature, possibly a distant cousin of the unicorn. He’s likely writing a heartfelt apology email to a disgruntled porcelain pug owner, postponing any strategic thought until his current crisis queue is miraculously empty, and definitely putting off that whole AI thing until then too.

It’s truly remarkable. While I’m planning for asteroid mining and quantum computing breakthroughs, they’re meticulously planning to plan, after they’ve finished whatever urgent, non-future-related thing is currently consuming their entire cerebral cortex. It’s like trying to explain the concept of a multi-lane motorway to someone who insists on walking everywhere, but only after they’ve polished their shoes.

Still, it keeps life interesting. If everyone was like me, the world would be full of sustainable aquaculture farms and no one would ever have a wonky garden gnome. I’ll think more about this after I’ve finished this single malt – wheneverrrr. 😂🤣